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1. Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.
2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather….not screeming and yelling like his passengers in car.
3. Going for Aerospace Engineering. Meri future GF ko bohat space milega
4. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture they hands you the camera.
5. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
6. I knew, I was born to be a pessimist. Because My blood group type is B Negative.
7. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
8. I will be back before you pronunce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.
9. We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police.
10. God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me.
11. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong
12. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
13. “You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub… and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.”
14. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
15. When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails
16. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
17. I may be wrong…. but I Doubt it!!!
18. Hey there….. be there.
20. Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else.
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21. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
22. “And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”
23. Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit ….wisdom is not putting is a fruit salad.
24. The “Night Out” ever…… but I don’t know why they took me to police station. Am I Famous??
25. One day I am gonna win….. I can wait till mah death for it.
26. If you’re talking abt me behind mah back….. go ahead this is the best angel to kiss mah ass!
27. I like to take road less travelled…..helps me to avoid traffic
28. Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees widout brains
29. I can see you checking my whatsapp status.B)
30. There are many things you can’t buy….but still pay for them.
31. Whattsapp status is loading
32. If i had a gun with two bullets and i was with hitler,bin laden and you[insert your ex or your enemy’s name],i would shoot you twice.
33. battery about to die
34. Urgent calls only
35. Falling in love is only half of what I want. Staying in love with you till forever is the other.
36. Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
37. “I know he’s a player, but I want to be the girl that he hangs up his jersey for and leaves the game”
38. The last thing i want to do is hurt you…..but its still on the list;)
39. You don’t have to like me….I am not a facebook status.
40. Status under construction.No status available
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41. Life is short, chat fast..!!!
42. Life is too short to be updating status
43. I wish I had google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
44. Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
45. Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
46. Error: status unavailable
47. Waiting for wi-fi network.
48. Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he.
49. Too busy to update a status. 0_o
50. formula for sucess…….under promise and over deliver…….
51. since 1910
52. Life is too short. Dont waste it copying my watsapp status….
53. One person’s LOL is another’s WTF!
54. I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.
55. Not always available, try your luck 😉
56. ‘Women are cursed, and men are the proof.’
57. ”We see all beautiful and colorful things in dis world from our BLACK n WHITE eyes!”
58. Without me its just awso.
59. Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it
60. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
61. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
62. 100,000 sperms and i was the fastest;)
63. Second chances are for loosers….either we do it in first place or live it for others.
64. Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.
65. Sorry vegiterians we can’t pretend
66. “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
67. I like to always carry two sacks around. That way, if someone asks me to lend them a hand, I can say, “Sorry, got these sacks”.
68. All you need is Love
69. Love is letting go of fear
70. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
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71. I don’t like cocaine, i just like the way it smells;)
72. I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.
73. Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
74. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
75. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
76. Dear Mario…..I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend.Now, you help me to save mine.
77. think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
78. apni to bass ek hi zeed he…. sar pe Taaj… Sath me koi Khasss aur is kamini duniya pe Raaaajjj !!
79. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
80. You’re eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I’m all lost at sea.
81. “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love”
82. love is when you feel totally complete
83. If I know what love is, it is because of you!!
84. “You can be Han Solo. And I’ll be Boba Fett. I’ll cross the sky for you.”
85. LOVING MIGHT BE A MISTAKE, BUT IT’S WORTHS MAKING.!
86. “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”
87. Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.
88. If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it
89. Hey Zukerberge if you are still into acquiring internet services that people spend enormous time on ,may i suggest IRCTC.
90. I have decided to leave my past behind me ,so i owe you money…..sorry but I’ve moved on.
91. I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
92. You treated me like an option so i left you like an choice
93. Your whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
94. I love the passion between us
95. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
96. Don’t mind the weather, it’s raining in my heart tonight
97. I don’t think we love each other in the same way. And…I think keeping you near me, would destroy me.
98. The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.
99. Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street’
100. You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution, now fucking act like it.
101. I’ll try being nicer if you start being smarter.
102. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
103. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
104. I meditate for 20 min every morning …..It helps reduce stress of being 20 min late for everything
105. Better the vaccum cleaner the beter it sucks!!
106. Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary mind….Bill gates:brilliant mind…..ME:Never Mind.
107. I am not questioning your honour. I am denying its existence.
108. My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
109. Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”
110. “To shine like the sun, you need to burn like one.”
111. I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast i never commented “Cute pic dear “on girls profile picture
112. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
113. I’ve been too fucking busy and vice versa
114. I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here
115. I’m listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much stupidity all at once!!
116. “To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.” – Bruce Lee
117. The things you are Passionate about are NOT random, they are your Calling.
118. “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire
119. Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.
120. whatever your thinking and feeling today is creating your future.
121. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” ― Lou Holtz
122. I became a specialist at comedic one-liners.
123. “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun
124. “Excersize is like mouthwash, if you can feel the burn it’s working”
125. WISDOM is the gold refinement of life
126. ‘Work until you don’t have to introduce yourself ‘
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